Hey Izzy…

Things I Wish You Could See Through My Eyes

Jaani,

There are so many things I wish I could make you see through my eyes, even if only for a moment.

You spend so much time pretending. Pretending you don't care. Pretending you aren't soft. Pretending you don't miss me. Pretending you don't love me.

And every single day, you tell me you don't love me.

But the problem is… I know you.

I know the way your voice changes when you're worried about me.

I know the way you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention.

I know the way you stay, even after every argument, every misunderstanding, every difficult day.

People don't do that when they don't love someone.

You may not always say the words.

In fact, you're probably one of the worst people I know at expressing your feelings.

But somehow, I've learned to read them anyway.

I see them in your face.

I see them in the way you react when something happens to me.

I see them in your silence.

I see them in the little things nobody else notices.

And maybe that's my favorite version of your love.

Not the kind that's loudly announced.

The kind that's hidden in a thousand tiny moments.

The kind I had to learn.

The kind that's uniquely yours.

We've been together for four years now.

And if I'm being honest, we were both a little ridiculous at the beginning.

We used to fight over the smallest things. Things that don't even matter anymore.

Sometimes we were stubborn. Sometimes we were immature. Sometimes we made mountains out of pebbles.

But somehow, no matter how many times we annoyed each other, frustrated each other, or drove each other completely insane…

we always found our way back.

And when I look at us now, I don't see the same people we were back then.

I see growth.

I see patience.

I see understanding.

I see two people who chose each other again and again and again.

Not because everything was perfect. But because what we have is worth protecting.

We've grown up together. We've seen different versions of each other.

The happy versions.

The insecure versions.

The stubborn versions.

The exhausted versions.

The versions nobody else gets to see.

And somehow, after seeing all of that…

I still choose you.

Every time. Without hesitation. Without doubt. Without question.

Because the truth is, I don't want this with anyone else.

I don't want these conversations with anyone else.

I don't want these memories with anyone else.

I don't want these late-night calls with anyone else.

I don't want these future plans with anyone else.

I don't want to grow with anyone else.

I don't want to build a life with anyone else.

If I had to start over a thousand times, I would still look for you.

I would still choose you.

Because somewhere along the way, you stopped being just the person I love.

You became my comfort.

My peace.

My habit.

My home.

And I don't think you fully understand how much of my life has your fingerprints on it.

A random thought reminds me of you.

A song reminds me of you.

A joke reminds me of you.

A place reminds me of you.

Somehow, you've managed to exist in every corner of my life.

And honestly? I wouldn't change that for anything.

You once asked me if I was going to leave.

I remember that moment more than you probably realize.

Because in that moment, I understood something.

No matter how strong you seem, no matter how much you pretend not to care, all you've ever wanted is reassurance that you're loved.

So let me say it again. As many times as you need to hear it.

I'm here.

I'm not going anywhere.

I choose you. I choose us.

And I hope years from now, when we're older and still annoying each other every single day, you'll remember that there was a boy who looked at you and decided that out of everyone in the world…

you were his favorite person.